Division by Nothing
by Oreo
Summary: It is possible to divide by zero. Say what you want; it means nothing.


i know this one boy  
he lives down the street  
he pulls off flies' wings  
and watches them suffer to death.  
can they comprehend the pain  
in their tiny brains?  
  
i know this one being  
he lives in the attic  
he likes to pull off angels' wings  
and watch them suffer to death.  
i know they comprehend it   
because i hear them scream,   
even though they don't make a sound  
  
can you imagine the pain of not being able to  
fly?  
you can fly!  
you can fly!   
you can FLY!  
but you can't  
because you have no wings  
so you're stuck  
forever   
on terra firma  
  
how sick one must be  
to hurt innocent creatures, but  
whatIS  
innocence? is it  
marigolds or lilies  
a state of mind or a state of being?  
is anything innocent?  
  
i wish i could fly.  
  
---  
  
how terrible it  
is to be stuck on the ground  
always and always  
  
---  
  
i am invisible  
to some, and too visible  
to others.  
  
if i want to be there, i am not  
if i want to be anywhere else but there, i am there  
it's as simple as that  
  
but one meets a few souls along the way to death  
who can smile nicely  
and they are visible and you can see them  
and they see you  
  
without them, you disappear unless you don't want to  
and then you're gone.  
  
---  
  
i can hear the angels in the attic  
and the way they move is light and  
eeiry  
like they are nothing that is trying to be something  
and it scares me  
how well they do it but at the same time  
being awful at it  
  
try to be something when you are nothing  
and you are still nothing  
try to be nothing while you are nothing  
and you are something  
because you are you:  
nothing  
  
---  
  
the angels want to fly  
they have no wings  
i would give anything  
to have had wings  
ever  
and break every law known to man and science  
and just fly  
leave everything else on the ground  
be nothing and want to be nothing  
and i am flying  
i wish i could fly  
  
---  
  
the strangers in the attic scare me  
they are too heavy.  
the angels move away, because they are afraid  
of something trying to be nothing trying to be something  
trying to imitate them  
and it scares the angels  
  
they can't fly away anymore-can you imagine?  
the strangers don't have wings  
you can't see them  
because they are too much of something  
and not at all nothing  
and if you are not nothing, you are not  
you so therefore  
you are something else  
and that's not right.  
  
---  
  
the angels are so loud today  
i wish they would stop  
i have become used to the movement  
it's just the pain i can hear from up there  
  
you can hear pain.  
think of a child crying for its mother  
that it has lost: dead or just gone  
after the cries have stopped  
think of a mother crying for a child  
that is has lost: dead or gone  
after the cries have stopped  
  
i hear the angels' pain in silence  
because i don't know what to say  
what to do  
how to feel  
what to think  
what do i say  
they have lost it all  
without their wings, they  
may as well be humans  
demons  
  
nothing.  
  
the awfullness of nothingness.  
imagine.  
nothing. just being nothing  
and crying because you cannot be something  
crying out against the being in the attic   
who pulled off your wings  
crying out against a god  
who will never hear them  
because they are no longer innocent-  
because they know the truth  
  
god is dead.  
  
---  
  
when i told the angels god is dead,   
they didn't take it too well  
they said that god can't die  
  
then i pointed to the pile of wings  
their wings  
that the being had so artfully  
arranged in the  
corner.  
  
and they agreed:   
god is dead.  
  
---  
  
now they don't believe  
and it scares me so badly  
that i shake in bed at night-  
an angel telling me there is no god!  
i know it  
always knew it  
even told the angels he was dead  
but i always, always, always  
wished i could believe  
in a lie.  
  
i know i can't now. and i wish i could.  
god is dead.  
  
---  
  
can they be angels if they tell me  
god is dead?  
  
it doesn't matter anyway-they have no wings  
  
---  
  
today there was more of a screaming silence  
than usual.  
they were screaming silently  
and crying   
because the being ate their wings.  
  
we think he's the devil.  
  
---  
  
i'm lost with the angels.  
they're here with me  
i'm there with them  
this here  
that there  
we are there and here.  
  
are they in my head?  
am i just pretending?  
or is this happening?  
  
i thought i made them up.  
but i can no longer be sure of anything  
when god is dead.  
  
---  
  
the angels are scared.  
i am scared.  
they're down here now.  
trying to hide from it.  
we're all so scared.  
  
i ask them where they got their strength before.  
they say god.  
but now god is dead.  
so they have none.  
  
we're scared of this being.  
  
---  
  
he's laughing in the noise.  
and makes more noise.  
  
actually, i'm to scared to breathe  
and the angels are nothing  
so they don't have to anyway  
so there's no noise.  
just silence  
  
he only laughs in my head.  
but i don't know what's inside my head anymore.  
am i in there?  
is he in there?   
no.  
we are here.  
and he laughs inside my head.  
  
---  
  
i can hear his silence.  
he's outside the door  
and my silence is louder than ever  
because my silence is screaming  
and pleading loudly silently with a dead man:  
god  
so it's not like it matters-  
i drown him out   
and the angels don't hear him  
because my silence is loud than his.  
  
i'm glad they don't hear him  
because then they'd be scared  
and you know everything's fucked up  
when an angel is screaming silently  
out of fear.  
  
---  
  
i forgot about the strangers in the attic  
it scares me  
they scare me  
the angels are crying   
silently  
because we all know god is dead  
i'm not crying, though-  
i've always known god is dead.  
  
once you get used to it, you understand it  
  
---  
  
as i wait for the strangers to do something  
and the being to do something  
and the angels to do something  
and a dead god to do something,   
i do proofs   
the way they tought me in  
advanced algebra II:  
  
god=dead (original statement)  
assume: god=jesus  
jesus=god   
jesus=dead   
jesus+angry crowd-pontius pilate=dead  
angry crowd-pontius pilate=death  
jesus+death=dead  
death=crucifixtion  
jesus+crucifixtion=dead  
god=dead  
  
or:  
  
god=dead  
assume: god-godliness=angels  
assume: angels-(wings+innocence+trust in god)=human  
assume: human=(mortality+being)  
assume: mortality=eventual death  
then: human=eventual death  
assume: god/3=father, son, holy ghost  
assume: godliness=life-trust-god/3  
assume: devil=death  
  
and now, when angels have been turned into humans...  
  
if angels=human  
god-godliness=human  
god-godliness=eventual death  
god-godliness-lie-trust-3god=-god  
-god=the opposite of god  
assume: opposite of god=devil  
devil=death  
  
GOD IS DEAD.  
and i'm scared.  
  
except my proofs make no sense  
so i'll do them better later  
but not in here  
not now  
this is not the place  
this is not the time  
  
do these angels deserve to die?  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
-  
  
that was so long ago  
i'm no longer scared  
i understand:  
that fairy tales never come true  
  
and you can divide by 0 if you do it at the right time  
you just have to know when  
  
people can die  
and you can't stop them  
even if you love them  
  
and friends can become eniemies  
if you let them  
  
and i am nothing  
who wants to be something  
when she grows up  
  
and things  
can kill angels  
because now they're gone  
forever  
because god created them  
and god is dead  
so it's over  
and there are no angels  
only one thing: science  
and logic  
and truth  
which is three things  
but they're really only one  
because i can divide by 0 


End file.
